Mom, are we there yet?
Nearly, Chris.
At present recall, kids, when we become to Mr. Quagmire's motel, don't touch anything
before I have a chance to disinfect information technology.
Male child, it was nice of Quagmire to let us use his place.
This'll be much amend than that vacation we took with the Price Is Right yodeler.
Okay, you can terminate here.
There's no way that microwave toll more than than 300 bucks.
Terminate here. Don't listen to that fat tourist.
She doesn't know how much a microwave costs. Finish!
Ah, we should take gone to Plinko like Cleveland.
Oh... Wow, Quagmire's got a nice identify.
Ah... This is gonna exist a relaxing weekend.
Hey, did yous hear something?
I recall it came from upstairs.
Oh...
Hey.
Uh...
This the week yous guys were coming up?
Beautiful state, isn't it, Chris?
God, it is peaceful, no question, Dad.
Simply be careful 'cause they got a lot of big ol' wilderness bugs out here.
Oh, hey.
Yous best be careful or I'm gonna sting y'all with my stinger.
Oh, no!
But so I's gonna dice if I sting you.
You know what? I'm not gonna sting y'all after all.
And that's my option. Y'all own't worth it.
I'm just gonna head on over to that flower
and suck on that stamen like there's no tomorrow.
Brian, how many years have I been saying you and I should get berry-picking?
A lot of years, Stewie.
Wait a minute. Do you know where we are, Brian?
This is a very special place.
They say once every hundred years in this spot,
Donny Most rises from the mist.
I call back that'south just a legend.
That's considering you lot're...
Look!
Donny Nearly, Donny Most
He was Ralph on Happy Days.
Donny Most, Donny About
Now he rises from the haze.
Actually,information technology's Don Virtually now.
Donny Most, Donny Most
Dominicus, Monday Happy...
Days.
All correct,here's a little tune inspired by
i of the great legends of the Sometime W.
Well, in that location one time were two cowboys all lone out on the trail.
And they discovered they could sleep with some other male person.
At present they're having gay sexual activity.
Cowboy gay sex.
Sodomy-ee...
Come up on, everybody.
Sodomy-ee...
Sodomy-ee.
Sodomy.
And when he woke up in the morning, she was yet in his bed!
- That's it? - Yeah.
And then she wanted to make him eggs.
And he said, "Oh,I don't have time." I've got a meeting at 12:30."
And she said, "I'll bulldoze you there."
And he said, "No, no,it's at my office.
It's, like,a one-half-hour commute." And she said,
"I don't listen. It's on the style to my kid's preschool."
Hey, hey, Lois,await at me. I got mail partum low.
Wah! I'chiliad sad almost stuff! Wah!
You son of a bitch, don't even joke virtually that!
This water feels kind of funny.
Yeah, and it smells bad.
Dad, expect!
Holy crap!
Oh, my God, what the hell is wrong with this lake?!
I retrieve it's a rubber bet that that's responsible.
So they tin simply dump their waste product into the lake?
This tin can't be legal.
What kind of earth is this where yous tin can't even trust the oil companies anymore.
- Hey, you've got a tattoo. - No, I don't.
- Is that Ziggy? - No.
- You have a Ziggy tattoo? - Aw, geez.
- Why do you accept a Ziggy tattoo? - I just used to think...
he was kind of funny. We should, uh, we should become to the hospital.
Mom, how long practice we accept to wear these wigs?
Until our hair grows dorsum, Chris.
Dad, you couldn't take gotten us annihilation more stylish?
Oh, I don't think it's so bad. I feel rather similar Mozart.
Hey, Stewie, play Haydn.
Now play Handel.
Play Peter Griffin.
Ah, now that is a challenge.
Go alee, mock me.
Simply it wasn't Stewie who was laughing at me.
Information technology was God.
What can I practice for you, Mrs. Griffin?
Mayor Westward, I'm hither equally an outraged citizen.
The Quahog Oil Refinery is emptying all their toxic waste into the lake.
I mean, you lot couldn't perhaps have sanctioned
that kind of blatant industrial pollution, could y'all?
Yeah, I told 'em information technology was fine.
What?
And in return, I get free oil for my pilus.
Hey, baby, desire to have a gander at some Adam West penis?
This is unbelievable!
Well, I am not gonna stand past while you let this boondocks be destroyed by corruption.
Mr. Mayor, I promise you this:
Next election,I'm gonna run against you
and I'm gonna win.
All correct ,Mrs. Griffin, y'all want to take me on? Fine.
Simply if y'all program to beat me, you'll have to...
What is information technology?
A bee just flew in through the window.
Don't movement.
Hmm, now look who's mayor.
First order of business, free honey for anybody.
Yay, Mayor Bee, Mayor Bee! Mayor Bee! Ow!
Oh, done stung myself.
Bye, globe.
- Skilful evening, Quahog. I'm Tom Tucker. - And I'grand Diane Simmons.
The Quahog mayoral race is heating up.
With incumbent Adam W squaring off confronting challenger Lois Griffin.
Which leads many political analysts to enquire the question,
"Tin a woman really be mayor,
or will she only menstruate all over the city?" Stay with us.
Oh, you guys,I can't tell you how much I capeesh all your difficult work.
It'southward really gonna make a divergence with my entrada.
Hey, Lois, have a look. I just made 500 T-shirts that say...
Vote for Lois, unless y'all're queer.
No, wait, even if y'all're queer.
No Jews, though.
Okay, Jews.
Oh... These are wonderful, sweetie.
Chris, why don't you lot put these upstairs in your closet and so we don't lose them?
But the evil monkey lives in my cupboard.
Of class, he hasn't been every bit evil since he became a Jehovah's Witness.
Hi, I'1000 going door-to-door to entrada on behalf of Lois Griffin
who's offering real alter for the metropolis of Quahog.
May we count on your vote next Tuesday?
Chris, this is our house.
Ah, and so what is for dinner?
- Pork chops. - Excellent.
- Chris, have you been to any other houses? - I have not.
- Would yous similar to come in? - Please.
This is Tom Tucker with some breaking ballot coverage.
Mayor Adam Due west has widened his lead over challenger Lois Griffin.
I'thousand confident that the people of Quahog will brand the right choice.
And hither to help me secure the Latino vote is histrion Jimmy Smits.
Adam West likes to eat nutrient that's grilled in foil.
That's our guy.
Boy, this ballot'south gonna be a tight one.
It's probably gonna be decided by but a couple of votes.
And hither nosotros are sitting here similar a bunch of lazy, paraplegic cops.
- Huh? - I'm sorry, Joe. It's just an expression.
- Ah. - Nosotros got to give Lois a last-infinitesimal edge.
Guys, I need y'all to help out on the entrada.
Oh, man, that's like making all, similar, signs, and walking effectually or what?
You know, y'all bastards got a pale in this, also.
I mean, Lois is my wife, and if she's the mayor
we can pretty much do whatsoever the hell we want.
I could do cocaine if I wanted to.
- Peter, you want some potatoes? - Aye, how you doin'?
I was just request if you wanted...
We got enough napkins? Yep, we got enough napkins.
That'south plenty. That's plenty right in that location.
What fourth dimension is it?
Is this-Is this direct? Is this straight right there?
Look, wait, see... I'll set it.
No, no... Is this directly? I can't tell...
Meg, sweep that up. Go-Get a broom, sweep that upwardly.
Sweep that up. Put it in your room, simply sweep it upwardly first.
Suspect number two, he'south the 1 who raped me.
All right, all only number 2 are complimentary to leave.
Ma'am, I know that you're going through a difficult fourth dimension right now,
simply I just have a few more than questions.
- Are you planning to vote tomorrow? - What?
Are you aware that Lois Griffin has a plan
to cut belongings tax in one-half over the side by side 3 years?
What does that accept to practise with what happened to me?
Well, you lot say number two did information technology,
perhaps I say I smell alcohol on your jiff.
You can't do that!
Sounds like Lois Griffin can count on your vote.
Hullo. When you go to vote for mayor tomorrow, delight vote for Lois Griffin.
That'south right. I piece of work at a deli and I know baloney.
And that'due south exactly what yous'll get with Mayor Adam Due west.
Ooh, sa-nap!
Boy, you guys,I actually appreciate all the help you lot've been giving us.
Except for you, Quagmire, you ain't done nothing.
What the hell are you talking about?
Lois is gonna get the unabridged female vote 'cause of me.
I've been having sex with every woman in town nonstop for the past two days.
You know how many sperm I got left? One.
He'southward all alone in in that location and he'due south scared, all correct?
- He's scared. - Ah.
Welcome, Quahog, to the boondocks hall mayoral fence
between incumbent Adam West and challenger Lois Griffin.
Nosotros will now open up up the flooring to questions from a community at large.
Yes, Mrs. Griffin, how do you experience about those computer websites
that put a blue square on the abode of a sex activity offender?
Well, the prophylactic of our children is a very important part of my plan for Quahog.
I have a 12-point programme for the security of...
I'thousand sorry, your time is upwardly.
No, no, no, no,I'm non impressed. I'chiliad non impressed, not nonetheless.
Mayor Westward, if reelected,
would you increment the frequency of garbage pickup?
Well, denizen, that'southward an excellent question and I thank you for it.
I remember it's great we live in a town where yous can inquire questions.
Considering without questions, we'd just have answers.
And an answer without a question is a statement.
Oh, I like him. He looks me in the eye.
I'd like to have a beer with him. I'm voting for him.
I don't empathise these people.
He didn't even say anything and they're eating it up.
Lois, undecided voters are the biggest idiots on the planet.
Try giving short, simple answers.
Sir, your question, delight?
Mrs. Griffin, what do you lot plan to practice about criminal offense in our metropolis?
- A lot. - She's got my vote.
Because that's what Jesus wants.
nine/11 was bad.
I agree with that.
God, I can't believe how easy this is.
Mrs. Griffin, what are your plans for cleaning up our environment?
9/xi.
Mrs. Griffin, what about our traffic trouble?
Nine...
Eleven.
Well, the ballot results are poring in and information technology looks like information technology'due south gonna be a tight i.
Which reminds me, Diane, when's the final time y'all... aw, forget it.
Oh, my God,I'grand an absolute wreck.
Well, folks, this is it.
The last of the votes accept been tallied and nosotros're getting the final results in at present.
Quahog's new mayor is...
Lois Griffin.
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
Oh. Were we done cheering?
Well, Mrs. Mayor, how do you feel?
Oh, I'g a little nervous, Brian,
merely mostly I'm excited about all the good I'm gonna become to do.
Wow, look at you.
All that power and you've nevertheless got that trunk.
And the outset thing I'thou going to do equally mayor is clean up Lake Quahog.
Well, I know the people will support you, Lois, because you connect with them.
Similar Disney connects with it'due south audition.
- You da cow! - No, you da cow!
Wow, Disney gets us.
Quahog Town Hall.
And I remember we all realize the importance of stopping
the environmental harm being done to Lake Quahog,
which is why I'thousand proposing a very modest tax increase that volition help the states to...
No, no, no, that's atrocious. No, no, no, I'k not okay with that.
No new taxes!
No new taxes!
No new taxes!
No new taxes!
But what well-nigh the terrorists?
That'south right, terrorists.
We take intelligence that suggests that...
Hitler is plotting with...
with the Legion of Doom...
to assassinate Jesus...
using the lake as a base.
Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom...
How did she detect our plan?
Me, Solomon Grundy, kind of dropped the ball on that one.
And we alsohave evidence that...
Darth Vader tried to purchase yellowcake uranium...
from unwed teenage mothers.
Those things all audio scary.
How much money before information technology tin can feel rubber once again?
Um... a hundred thousand?
I threw a ten. See that 10 there? I threw that.
At the top of the news, Lake Quahog is again make clean,
thanks to the efforts of newly elected mayor, Lois Griffin.
We now go to Asian reporter, Tricia Takanawa, for her camber on the story.
Thanks, Tom.
One time again, happy locals are frolicking in the waters of Lake Quahog.
And nosotros're here with their reactions.
Sir, how does it feel to accept the lake back?
Well, I'll tell you, Tricia, as a local resident,
I feel like I can once once again accept pride in my community.
I think this is really gonna revitalize tourism.
And if you look around, I retrieve even the wildlife is starting to come up dorsum.
And, you know, that'south something we oasis't seen in a while.
I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of that.
Hey, y'all guys.
Mom, everyone on TV says you're running the town great.
Maybe y'all can exercise some damn laundry one time in a while.
- What? - What?
Wow, Mom, is that a new purse?
Aye, that looks pretty expensive.
Well, don't tell anybody, Brian, only I was a fiddling naughty.
I may have dipped into the tax surplus.
Wait a minute, y'all used taxpayer money to buy yourself a bag?
It'southward no big deal, Brian.
Besides, at that place was a lot left over after the lake cleanup
and I figured maybe I earned a footling treat, huh?
Lois, spending even one penny of that money on yourself is incredibly unethical.
Oh, come on, information technology was only $600.
My God, that's more than I spent to go see that prizefight in Vegas.
I thought you said nosotros was going to see Hairspray.
Bitch, I idea I said just shut up and be lookin' fine.
What the hell's upwardly with these rolling blackouts?
Well, since Lois is the mayor,
I'm immune to reroute all the town's electricity.
What'd you lot exercise that for?
So I could reanimate the corpse of Jim Varney.
Howdy, Vern.
This is some dad-glue nicehouse you got here, Vern.
That'south Vern, V-Vern,Vern, Vern.
Oh, look, look, it was John Belushi, that's who I wanted.
Peter, how could yous...?
Mode alee of you, Brian. My fault, I'll accept care of this.
- Hey, Jim, come out in the one thousand, will ya? - Sure thing, Vern.
He got the shotgun, Brian!
Don't enquire me how he did information technology, just Jim Varney got the shotgun!
- Run for your life! - What?!
Run!
Excuse me, how much is this coat?
It's $4,300.
Oh.
Do you retrieve you lot can give me a fiddling mayoral discount?
Well, I think you lot're doing a smashing chore, Mrs. Griffin, simply my boss would kill me.
- How's everything going out here? - Fine, Mr. Voorhees.
Skilful. 'Cause if you screw up, I'll kill ya.
Hi. Bob Grossbeard, Quahog Oil.
I'd like to buy y'all that glaze.
Really?
All I ask in return is that you permit my company practice
merely a little bit of dumping in your lake.
This guy don't sit right with me, Lois. He don't sit down right with me.
But I merely cleaned up Quahog Lake.
Do you lot want the coat or not?
- I want the coat. - Excellent.
Then nosotros have a deal.
Ugh, Brian'due south gonna be really upset when he finds out.
Eh, I'll just take him for a ride in the car, he'll forget all most it.
Wait a infinitesimal, I know where nosotros are. The park is near here.
We're virtually the park, Lois. Oh, that's the tree. I peed on that.
Hey. Hey, Lois. Lois. There's another canis familiaris in that machine.
H-Hey, hey, hey! There'south some other canis familiaris in that machine. Hey!
Are you seeing that?! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Other dog, fuck y'all!
Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Quahog Oil Refinery,
we would like to thank Mayor Lois Griffin for our newest waste pipe.
Let the dumping resume.
Hey, Jake, how long can you lot concur your breath under water?
Longer than you. Check information technology out.
Aah! My face!
Lois, what the hell are you doing?
Remembering who I am, y'all crook.
Oh, I'thousand a cheat, am I?
What about all the money yous embezzled?
Yous want people to detect out about that?
You better play ball, or we'll detect someone else who will.
I'll play ball.
Y'all know what, Due west? You can have your job dorsum.
Politics does terrible things to good people.
Good for you, Lois. You wised upwardly earlier information technology was also late.
I was so consumed by ability and coin,
I became the very thing I set up out to destroy.
Hooray! I'm mayor over again!
Don't nosotros need to have a whole new election?
There. Now no ane volition have heard him say that.
We all heard him say it.
Anybody else hear anything?
My wife did.
0 Response to "Family Guy: It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One"
Post a Comment